Monthly Archives: August 2008
Not Dead. Only Sleeping…
Still.
Great article on CNN about bartering sexual favors
. Admit it. We’ve all done it to some extent. I dated for dinners when I was a broke college student.
Until I realized I could spank for dollars and buy my own dinner… and trips to Europe… and cars… and… cloths… and IVF treatments…
OMG I’m going back to bed
OMG I'm going back to bed
In a foolish attempt to organize my reentry into society, I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I needed to get caught up on.
It is a very long list. The first item on the list was to return about a million emails. Those fools wrote me back, immediately, flaunting their caughtUpNess in my face.
Now? It is a very, VERY long list.
Oh Hell.
Filed under Random Fluffy Bits
Finally!!
After searching the internets for maternity lingerie to wear in the dungeon, I’d just about given up.. then… found this.
http://www.zodee.com/womens/hotmilk/
Hot Milk. What an awesome name for maternity lingerie! I think I will be ordering the Slip Into Seduction, so that in a month or two I can still slip into the dungeon.
Has anyone else found anything sexy to wear while expecting? After all, seriously, this is the last time we will have time to be sexy for a while!
Filed under Knocked Up, The Spanking Factory
I don’t… feel right
I don't feel right.
It started on Saturday. Having lunch, with friends, the only thing on the menu that looks good it the bacon cheese burger.
Bacon.
Burger.
It’s been nearly three months since I’ve been able to stomach the idea of meat. I ate over half of it (and had the WORST. stomach. ache. ever). Then the next day, because we were staying at a hotel, I didn’t get breakfast for TWO HOURS after I woke up.
And I didn’t get sick.
Then? When we got home that night? I took the dog for a walk and I was able to walk up the hill on the way home WITHOUT taking a break to nap on the sidewalk. I even made it up the stairs to the front door with out feeling like my heart was going to pound it’s way out of my chest.
Then?!?
I cleaned out the fridge WHILE cooking dinner. Cooking dinner AND cleaning AT THE SAME TIME.
Filed under Knocked Up
Two Posts! One Day!
Makes up for all the times I post twice in one month. I really don’t have time to post these days. Truthfully, I don’t have time to work or be social. I only have time to eat, nap and be irritable. Shouldn’t I be happy? After trying to get knocked up for so long, I now am? Jeez! WHAT does it take to make me happy?
At least DaddyO has been able to escape the barfyIrritableNapping for a while and go to New York for business. Of course, maybe if he wouldn’t look at me and say Damn. You are really big. Are you supposed to be showing this early? (To which I reply Damn. I’m going to miss you.) Maybe I wouldn’t be so irritable. So while he is in NY, I’m taking advantage by lounging in pajamas all day in front of the Law and Order. Very unlike when he is home and I lounge in front of the Law and Order in pajamas all day.
Filed under Knocked Up
You would think…
Bad Nurse!
that after going through IVF, prenatal blood work would be a piece of cake. But today, I managed to get the one girl who made sure it wasn’t.
First, starting yesterday, the morning sickness is back. It had been pretty much, but not quite, under control. I’ve been starting the day with Instant Breakfast, eating often, it’s been fine. Then yesterday, NOTHING sounded good. I really tried, but felt like I was gonna lose it if anything other then Instant Breakfast and some fruit came near me. That lovely sensation continued throughout todays adventures.
I went for a nice long walk, fresh air is supposed to help, right? Stopped by the hospital to do my prenatal blood work. Everything was going barfingly, but as scheduled.
The women tosses me a urine container and tells me to sit down. She goes over my order and starts talking about How Many Tests I have… sooo many. She starts gathering vials.
She gathers more vials.
She arranges vials.
Counts vials.
Filed under Issues. We All Have Issues., Knocked Up
Yah!
DaddyO says he will trade penis for all that fun stuff. But only for two days.
Off to find some lube and a tube sock!
Filed under Knocked Up
Just for a couple days…
I would like to be the one with the penis, and you could have the abused ovaries, the giant tender breasts and the beer belly. You could feel fat, out of shape and incredibly unattractive.
You could have the crazy emotions, the pussy stuffed full of progesterone capsules creating a sort of uncomfortable paste in your panties and the inability to eat ANY of your favorite foods. You could get nauseous randomly!
You could lose the ability to finish a sentence, do your job, or fit in your clothes. You could swear off sushi, cocktails, imported cheeses and deli meat.
You could be the one to search a restaurant menu for something that doesn’t contain any of the 45 freakin items you’re not supposed to eat when you are pregnant or the 95 items that are sure to make you barf if they come anywhere near your mouth.
You could sit home alone on a Friday night, stomach and head in an uproar because you have been up for TWELVE STRAIGHT HOURS WITHOUT A NAP. 12.
Filed under Issues. We All Have Issues., Knocked Up
Just because you CAN button your pants…
just because you can button those pants...
Does NOT mean you should.
Just saying. We’re looking to invest in a belly band already.
Filed under Random Fluffy Bits
My Uterus; The Mansion
My Uterus; The Mansion
You know what’s worse for a Dominatrix’s reputation then going under for a bone graph, you know, the kind in the front of the mouth, where there should be teeth, thinking she will be back in the dungeon swinging her whip in two days, only to wake up and find out her face is bruised and swollen and she won’t be able to wear her Count Chocula teeth for about three weeks?
Going to see the family for a week and having her pregnancy become very real TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD. It was like I woke up one day and my belly had been installed. And it is A MANSION! No efficiencies or condos for this baby!
