Category Archives: Holy Matrimony Batman!
Sit. Stay. Replace the FREAKING toilet paper!
Dripping Dry Again
I’m a Dominatrix. I train people for a living. I train them to do the most insane unprobable things. And you know what? They do them. Pain? Hypnosis? Coercion? Enticement. I can sum up my subject in a few well placed questions and invoke the proper technique.
* to always wear a certain item when visiting me
* to NEVER wear a certain item with visiting me
* To avoid eye contact
* to only approach me from the left
* to fetishize boots/shoes/heels etc
* enjoy incredibly tight painful nipple clamps
* not to cum unless given permission
* not to cum without feeling guilty and giving me presents *heart*
I was a madwoman when training my dog. Sit. Stay. Be so fucking cute I may die. He does it all. On command.
Filed under Holy Matrimony Batman!, The Spanking Factory
Needed: A Jury of MY Peers
A Jury of MY Peers
Dear Ladies. I need a jury of my peers.
Today while discussing how broke we are I said “We spend all our money on infertility treatments and all I got was this fat ass.” to which he replied in the midst of a fake cough “You already had it.”
Punishment?
Filed under Holy Matrimony Batman!, Trying To Breed
Gone Fishing
Gone Fishing
Step dad was finally released from infectious disease dr on Tuesday so, Monkey is and grandma and grandpas and we are off to Hawaii for a friends wedding in the same family house that DaddyO and I got engaged at.
The only flight left was first class.
Oh darn. 
We are coach on the way back, but I brought the rest of the pain pills from the miscarriage so we should be fine.
Will be in the air almost as long as we are actually there… But… Yippee!
Then home for a few days, then on the the rescheduled trip to Disneyland with my mom and monkey.
Then the FET on the 22nd.
Oh, and DaddyO was just offered three contracting jobs!
This month is coming together suddenly, and quite nicely! Nice departure from the shit storm of this last summer.
Daaamn!
The Sex Life of a Professional Dominatrix
The Sex Life of a Professional Dominatrix
Oh, the double edge sword that is the sex life of a Dominatrix, or any sex worker really. And it’s not just my sex life I write about, but the sex life of the partner of a dominatrix or other sex worker. That person is in a specially sharp spot of that sword.
On the one hand, the good one I’m sure, the one that can do all the fancy stuff in the nether regions, there is the Openness (Sure! We can try that!), the hot friends (Sure! We can invite Miss HottyPants to dinner!) the cool cloths (Sure! I can wear that!) And his/her bragging rights to certain friends (Sure! I hit that! Fer Free!!).
On the other hand, the bad one that can’t seem to keep rhythm, there are a lot of issues. The I’m Too Tireds, the I Just Did That Today’s, the Jealousy and the Friends that think you are nuts, completely bonkers even, to date a sex worker. Seriously. DaddyO had friends not speak to him for years after we started dating.
Post Wedding Blues?
special for the creature-in-law
Wow. So I kept hearing about them, but didn’t think I would be affected. But perhaps I had the whole thing wrong. You see, I though the post wedding blues were when the bride came home all married and returned to real life and no longer was the center of attention and no longer in the midst of spending more money on a party then they would ever spend in their lives and well… would get sorta depressed.
Yeah, I don’t have that.
Instead, I have 72 stitches in my mouth making it nearly impossible for me to talk. No heavy lifting and any exorcise makes my mouth throb. My house is a pile of half unpacked boxes and suitcases and my clients, for both businesses are calling and emailing because I’m late getting back on schedule. And I think my dog is threatening to move out if I don’t promise some more interesting walks to the park soon.
I would LOVE to get back to my pre-wedding life.
Filed under Holy Matrimony Batman!
Back. Sorta.
Wacky Wedding Wrap-up
The wedding was amazing. So many of our friends flew across the country to join us for a long weekend, we all stayed on the beach, spent two days at Disney and basically spent some great time bonding. Of course, the husbands, father’s current wife had too much to drink and went nutso at about midnight, kicking us all out, even though we had the space all night. No one wanted to deal with her, so we all left and went back to beach.
We spent the rest of the night drinking expensive champagne out of plastic cups, dipping our toes in the ocean and talking about how crazy she is. Damn Crazy. As in cornering our friends and telling them what “thorns in her side” we are. At our own wedding! Truly crazy. I could go on and on about the crazy, there is a full blog of crazy that I could fill, but I really don’t want to relive it. Again. Lets just say that she is old, in bad health and I will not feel sorry when she dies. And THAT makes me feel bad about myself, but you can only take so much.
Still Here?
I don’t know? Am I?
I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve posted.
Bwahahahahaha!! Refer to my first post. I should go to blogger jail for blogger abuse and neglect.
What have I been doing? Well, still trying to plan a wedding. From across the country. Still trying not to reach through the phone and slap my future father in laws bat shit crazy wife across her bat shit crazy bufount hairdo as she calls up bi-weekly to tell me what steps she’s taken to plan my wedding. My favorite was when she called to tell me she had returned the square mirrors (I wanted mirrors??) for round mirror? (I wanted round mirrors???) Am I sleep planning this wedding and forgetting whole conversations?
Maybe, cause every time I see her number come up on the called ID, I do tend to lay my head down.
And cry. Did I mention that she looks like Big Bird? Yes, with a helmet shaped bufont hairdo. You really can’t call it anything but a hairdo. It’s certainly not a hair style. Maybe a hair don’t.
Holy Smokes.
mawidge is what bwings us togewer today
So… seems the only thing holding me together was stress. Three days into my three week vacation and I’m sick as a dog, throat so raw I can’t swallow, nose completely stuffed, coughing and sneezing…. so very sexy. Mwah!
I guess that’s why on day 6 of our vacation, with me wearing a mismatched bikini and sniffling and sneezing on Hanalei Beach in Kauai, after 10 years, completely out of the blue, DaddyO got down on his knees in the surf and proposed.
Marriage.
Between Us. Like. Him, and Me. Married.
Insert Complete and Utter Speachlessness. Gahhhhh…… wah?
So now… my carefully thought out plan, vacation, Christmas, IVF in Jan, waiting to get my second bone graft and teeth implants until after the baby is born…. completely out the window. We want to get married on April 26th, 2008 – which will be our tenth year anniversary – it’s also called the Day Of Decadence for reasons I may or may not go into later. 
Filed under Holy Matrimony Batman!, Trying To Breed
