Category Archives: Trying To Breed
Manny Moe Curly
Manny Moe and Curly
Manny, Moe and Curly are on board.Manny and Moe are perfect hatching 6 day blasts. Curly is, as the RE put it, still catching up.
And now we wait. Although I’m pretty sure I’ve already gassed them with my lethal progesterone gas. Good lord. It’s always bad, but this time it really, truly is lethal. So glad the Mr is out of town.
All three defrosted beautifully. The embryologist, a hot french woman came in after the transfer to give me a picture of the embryos and said that Manny and Moe were expanded when frozen, but began hatching immediately upon defrost. This is a very good sign.
I’m torn between wanting to enjoy the illusion that I’m pregnant, and not wanting to think about it at all so that I’m not heartbroken when it doesn’t work.
Filed under Trying To Breed
This is it!
This Is Is
In the immortal words of Michael Jackson; This Is It. I don’t know why my transfers always have musical references, they just do. Last time it was OK-Go.
Actually, I think OK-Go, Here It Goes Again is the anthem of all woman doing transfers, IUIs or a two week wait of any sort. Probably not what they were thinking when they wrote the song and climbed on their treadmills, but there you have it.
This Is It is much better suited this time. Because I have no tubes. really, this is it. If this doesn’t work, there are no more chances.
I guess I’m lucky in that I’m not going to be tortured month in and month out wondering and waiting and hoping. There is no more hope and I can move on to bigger and better things.
What ever those would be.
I’m also so very lucky to have scored an out of the park home run with my very first cycle that brought us Monkey. No matter what happens in the next 10 days, I still have my Monkey.
Filed under Trying To Breed
Houston. We… don’t..? have a problem.
No problems here. Yet.
This morning, despite none of the 42 OPK’s I’ve pee’d on the last five days being positive, I went to my RE for my mid-cycle date with Mr Wandy. I have been having crazy cramps in right ovary for the last 4 or 5 days. My right ovary is the asshole. Every day closer to the wanding brought a higher stress level as I was certain I was going to be cancelled.
As I laid back on the exam table I told the Dr (sometimes refered to as Dr Hottie) that was a lot of ovary cramping and that I was sure I had a cyst. The Dr smiled kindly as if to say… yeah, whatever.
As it turns out? 18mm follie getting ready to go. On the left. Nothing on the right. (Did I mention that my right ovary is an asshole?) And? My thickest lining to date! 12mm!!
So, everything is moving forward.
Filed under Trying To Breed
OPK’s are assholes
I'd kill for 2 minutes alone in the bathroom.
Seriously.
Today was the day that I started peeing on ovulation predictor kits.officially. I pee’d on one yesterday, but that was just practice. Like I need it.
Well. Actually I do. Because when I was 21, my abusive ex bullied me into having an abortion, I turned around and had my tubes tied. So, I’m the only infertile I know who doesn’t know how to track my cycle. Sick joke that nature plays on me though? Because my cycles are regular and IF has blessed me with more knowledge then babies, I can tell when I ovulate. That’s extra special knowledge on those cycles when we aren’t cycling.
Like all the ones I have in my future.
Makes me wonder why we just didn’t invest in the reversal. Oh yeah, because we never imagined it would take so many cycles with my good numbers and my regular cycles. Blarg.
This is it people!
And now the screaming starts
Tomorrow I turn 43. And, unless something big happens in the next couple of hours, I will not have discovered the real answer to life, the universe and everything. I feel completely let down by Douglas Adams.
Tomorrow I also start my ovulation predictor kits for this final cycle. That’s not totally true. Because I’m a POAS addict, I pee’d on one today.
I am not ovulating.
Yet.
Hopefully, I will get a positive this weekend and everything will move forward as planned. A BFP in a couple weeks would be grand. But seriously, at this point, I’m just ready to be done.
Which totally means I will get a BFP and probably go through the long drawn out hell that will result in a miscarriage just like last time. My body seems to be rather insistent on reaping maximum heart break from this whole process.
Really wish I felt more positive going into this. I know bringing home a baby is a possibility. But so is winning the lottery.
Filed under Trying To Breed
Destination Unknown
Just a tinsy bit lost and confused
Well. This is it. Aunt Flo is here. The husband has had his pre-transfer freak out. The paperwork has been signed. Nothing can stop me from killing these embryos with my uterus. We are looking at doing the transfer on the 30th of January, give or take a couple days, as it is a natural cycle. Then, my TCC days will be behind me. That will be about 10 days after my 43rd birthday.
Oh good lord, how did I get to be so old? In my brain, I’m still the lost, confused, wondering what I’m going to do with myself, girl child who is trying to get her problem skin under control and figure out what to do with her hair.
No. Wait. I’m still all of that. I’m just now doing it in my early 40′s rather then my early 20′s. And now I have a zits on my wrinkles.
Oh, Balls.
Goal for 2012? Not to be mocked by my wii fit. Again.
PEP vitamins will help me unpack! Do they still sell those?
Last year, my goal was to be decent to myself. Coming off 2010 and my miscarriage at 12 weeks, a failed FET, a failed fresh cycle, and my Mr being let go of his job of 8 years, it was about all I could muster.
I wanted to start exercising – mainly because my wii-fit had mocked me. This year, I pulled the wii-fit out for my yearly check in, replaced the batteries that had started to ooze from neglect and stepped on. It made a grunty noise, but seems to think that I’ve lost a pound. Over the course of the last year.
I totally call that a win! Actually, losing a pound while doing a round of IVF and then a FET and getting pregnant and miscarrying is sort of a win. A sad, sad win.
Filed under Issues. We All Have Issues., Trying To Breed
To MILF, or not to MILF
The Experienced MILF
So, one of my besties is dating a good friend of my husbands and last night we were all hanging out when this very serious conversation came up. I hope you can help us come to an answer.
For you see, they know think they want kids. Someday. But just not… you know.. right now. So they are getting ready to do IVF to create some embryos that they will transfer at a later date when they are ready. It’s called fertility preservation and it’s a pretty interesting idea for those of us who are/were too busy doing other things to breed during those official breeding years.
So the question is… when does she obtain MILF status? When she has embryos? Or when she has an actual baby. I’m thinking she obtains it as soon as the Han Solo quintuplets hit the freezer. What do you think?
EDITED TO ADD:
Filed under Trying To Breed
TTC Update
Attack of the Clusterfucks!
Today I received both a note from my Dr that my HCG is undetectable aaaand … a note from Enfamil congratulating me on my little one reaching it’s first birthday. Thanks assholes. I hadn’t even remembered that my former due date was coming up.
Next month is, if my body co-oporates, going to be our final transfer. I know I’ve said this before, but really and truly, this time is it. Next month I will also turn 43 and there is no way we can afford donor eggs. We will be happy with our Monkey and I will find something new to obsess over.
Like making the marketing people at Enfamil miserable.
Because this last cycle was so weird, I went ahead and bought some cheapie OPK and have been using them the last couple mornings to see if my body has started ovulating again. I should have started on Christmas Eve, but forgot, then Christmas was an exhausting clusterfuck of crazy, so I didn’t use one until the 26th. That should have been the day before I actually expected to ovulate and the line was super dark, but not as dark as the control line. The next day was also dark, but not as dark as the control line. Today the line was really light.
Filed under Trying To Breed
