I have signed Glitter up for a virtual book tour through the Virtual Book Tour Cafe. If you would like to be added as a blog stop, let me know! You could interview me, write a review, give away an ebook or ask me to write a guest post. Just be aware, if you go for that last one, I will probably say boobs a lot.
Boobs.
Filed under Random Fluffy Bits
Big Uncomfortable Bouncy Balls.
This is a review of a toy I purchased years ago.
Some time ago I promised a series of Momgina sex toy reviews. Then ALL THE THINGS HAPPENED and I wrote half of them and didn’t post any over them. SO without further ado, in which I could get distracted by something shiny, or someone wrecking havok, may I present the first review.
Filed under Kinky Sex Tips For Curious Girls
Yes Mickey, They are pretty splendid!
YoHo! was, as we all suspected it would be, a blast. Because really, a gathering of sex positive ladies in Disneyland, and, if they have them, their kids? What is not to love. I’m fairly certain more then one person walked away going did… I just over hear what I THINK I over heard in line for Small World?
Because speaking in code over the kids heads, doesn’t always mean it’s over the heads of the guy in line behind you.
It was a fairly small group of women (both those in the sex industry, and some who were just sex positive and wanting to socialize with others of like mind) which made it a super intimate group. We tended to take off two by two for different rides or attractions (MUCH easier to do Disneyland that way) which meant lots of time to get to know each other, then met for a little relaxing and watching the kids run wild, before splitting off again. We all got to see past each others press and get to know the real person behind the reputation.
Filed under Random Fluffy Bits
Yup. That’s a jar of rocks.
Several years ago I had a client who would drive three hours each way to see me. It was always a big event for him. He would take the day off work and spend the night afterwards in a hotel down the street. Because of the distance he wasn’t able to see me as often as he liked, so we devised a system involving colorful rocks. Every time he would come to see me, I would give him one. He could take it home and place it on his dresser where he already had a photo of me, as well as other trinkets saved from our time together in a sort of alter.
Actually it was a full on alter and sweet and a touch disturbing all at once.
Filed under The Little Monkey
If you follow me on twitter (you all follow me on twitter, right?) you probably saw a lot of this fly by over the weekend, but I thought I would post a wrap up and give a shout out to a couple of my favorite things.
They are like Oprah’s favorite things, but generally with more strippers and booze. Which just so happens to be a couple of Portland’s favorite things, which is why we get along so splendidly.
And it’s not JUST a random stripper fest. This was a trip to celebrate our 15th anniversary, which we were told is the Crystal year. So, we had to go look for her. But we kept forgetting to ask their names. Which is pretty much means we just travelled around Portland breaking $20′s for $1′s and distributing them to all the pretty girls.
We did our best. I apologize if you did not get yours.
Or, if you got yours and you have no idea why some drunk chick stumbled up and stuck a dollar in your back pocket. That was why. She thought you were pretty.
A picture of my boobs for no apparent reason
The ability to think outside the box is the corner stone of professional domination.
I would meet with someone. Often someone I had never met. Through a series of phone calls, emails and an application, would have a good idea of their interests, hopes and goals for our time together. We would negotiate all the interests. We would negotiate all the limits. We would negotiate the roles.
When we would meet for the first time, usually at the door of my dungeon, I would take the lead and try to give them a memorable, amazing experience. How do you do that after negotiating all of these activities ad nauseam? By thinking outside of the box. By taking what they expect and twisting it.
Even kidnapping scenes can be pre negotiated, then made memorable and surprising by employing a friend to take them out from behind as they enter the dungeon while shoving a nail polish scented rag over their face. Tie them up and slowly paint their lips with cinnamon lip plumper and as it starts to burn and tingle, tell them that it is something that is going to wipe their memory clean so that you can create the perfect slave.
Filed under Random Fluffy Bits
Glitter was mentioned on a podcast called Culture Blast!
Filed under Random Fluffy Bits
At What Point Should I Seek Treatment For My Addiction To Cheese?
I mean. Is it like alcoholism? Can I be a functioning cheeseaholic and think I’m ok, but I’m not? Do I wait until it’s effecting my life? Last night I had to go to bed because I used the above crisps as spoons to scoop warm brie out of the package until it made my stomach hurt.
Realistically it was almost bedtime anyway. So really. It wasn’t that much of a problem.
I ask this because just now, home alone, as I made a kale smoothie for lunch, I spied the last of these crisps and the sad remainder of brie haphazardly wrapped in plastic as I reached into the veggie drawer to grab my giant tub of super greens and a couple of carrots and stopped, reached up and, standing in the cool breeze of the open refrigerator enjoyed a few spoonfuls before moving on to make my healthy lunch.
Filed under Crazy Rants
Gender neutral parenting is all fun and games until you send you kid to school in his new shoes and spend the day worrying that he’s going to be bullied.
In preschool.
I talked to the teachers, and they embrace a gender neutral environment, but people? Other parents are ass holes. He’s already come home and proclaimed that ‘pink is for girls.’
This obviously did not change his love of the color. And people? These shoes are pink AND sparkly AND have princesses on them AND bows. He physically and audibly swooned when he saw them. He said they would help him ride faster on his new scooter.
Stay tuned. I’ll post this afternoon and let you know if he seems to have changed his mind or if there were any incidents. This isn’t the first time he’s worn pink shoes to school, but his pink rain boots that he loved into oblivion were not nearly as…. They didn’t make as much of a statement.
Filed under The Little Monkey
Best thing about not shopping at Target for 48 days? Having time to find these and throw them out.
Two months or so ago I came up with an impossibly bad idea and I gave my husband 48 days free of arguing about how much money I spend at Target for his birthday.
They said it couldn’t be done. And by they? I mean my husband. My mom. Most my friends. My neighbor. Pretty much everyone. In fact, no one said it could be done. Except my friend who buys everything on Etsy. I won’t tell you what she said, but I will tell you she was wrong.
It started as a joke. As a dare. As an impossibly stupid idea, but I was actually surprised at what I learned. I tried to stick to the spirit of the promise, which was to spend less on crap we really don’t need. Although, I will admit to taking an extra trip or two to Costco and the little home decor store near my house. I also tried to use the time to clean out the closets and purge the house of stuff we don’t need.
Filed under Crazy Rants, Holy Matrimony Batman!
PickyBritches on Thinking Outside The Box Give AwayWe hide our BDSM lifestyle by doing things like using the miniblind handle as a whipper! You know, they just sort of pop right off the hook, don't make much noise, and sting like a mother fucker! Perfect! :D 
neeroc on Thinking Outside The Box Give AwayV (5) was with me when that IG pic came across my timeline. I told her they were earrings *g* neeroc on Portland Wrap-upSounds (and looks) like a wonderful time. Happy Anniversary. Also, was it Darth Vader in a kilt? http://youtu.be/m8rzkCkFIus (that's portland too) 
QueerieBradshaw on Thinking Outside The Box Give AwayI wanted to post something about anal being outside of the box, but I couldn't come up with something funny enough. My life is thinking outside of the box. Including buying paddles with you at the place we aren't mentioning due to you not wanting to be sued. 
Mona Darling on A Rockin Parenting Fail.I got a new system. I'll post about how he out smarted me on that one soon. :-/ 
